And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
