i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
