we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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