my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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