Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
