you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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