I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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