if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
