Your dad touched me again.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
