so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
