Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
