what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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