We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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