We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I touched a dick in church today
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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