he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize