The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
