listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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