I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
