I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You need Xanax blowdarts
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
