omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
