I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize