By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
