The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
