i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
