hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
