office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
