Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
