it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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