I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize