what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
