Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
