Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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