There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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