i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
