at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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