that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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