so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
