i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Are my feet made of real feet?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
