he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
