Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
