I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
