My balls are so social today.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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