ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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