when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
