It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
