i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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