whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
His nipple licking is glorious
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