It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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