i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
