Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
