I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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