Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
