return my video game
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
