His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
