Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
