Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
