if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
