i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
