I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
