don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wish you could order shots online.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
