You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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