I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
